A e-tailer gripe

I recently bought a new front derailer from Performancebike.com. This is the kind of thing that an experienced cyclist who does his or her own mechanical work does all the time. You know what you need, you find it for the lowest price you can get it, and you order it. I checked the specs, and really, there aren't many parameters on a thing like this. Make and model? Clamp diameter? So it arrived, lo and behold, it's a braze-on model. Not the 31.8mm clamp-on model I expected. I emailed customer service, with a PDF printout of the page from their website showing that what they were advertising was different from what they were shipping and got this response:

Performance is not responsible for printing errors or other errors appearing in our catalogs or Web site. All orders are subject to acceptance by Performance, Inc.

Rad. So, if you advertise that you're selling a pair of cycling shoes and I order them and get only one in the mail, you can blame it on a printing error and I'm just screwed?

What to bring to a cyclocross race. A rebuttal.

Many have seen, read, applauded, derided and linked to the recent VeloNews article on what to bring to a cyclocross race. Even BSNYC got in on the fun. Here is the nippleworks rebuttal:

Item #	Velonews Necessity	nippleworks Reality
1	Coleman™ portable stove to cook bratwurst	Nut butter and jelly sandwhiches, wrapped in tin foil so they don't get mashed by your gear
2	GSI™ Glacier French Press to make coffee	A paper cupful from the local café, whatever came out of the urn at the race or your beat-up thermos
3	53x11™ Coffee	The industrial supply coffee that the race promoter could afford
4	Crazy Creek™ Leisure Chair	The bumper of my pickup.
5	Mountainsmith™ Deluxe bike cube duffel bag	Canvas shopping bags. One for the clothes, one for the food and bottles.
6	www.cowbell.com™ race noise creation device	My voice or the sheetmetal cowbell I got at as a freebie at a road race a couple of years ago.
7	www.lionofflanders.com ™ Belgian flag	Club tent?
8	Craft ZERO™ extreme base layer	A polypro undershirt that smells like campfires.
9	Specialized™ Equinox Glove	Any mountain bike gloves will work. Many pros race without gloves.
10	www.thestick.com™ warmup massage instrument	My thumbs?
11	Schlamm™ Portland Rain Suit	My yellow commuting rain jacket
12	Kurt™ Kinetic Road Machine wattage computing trainer	A few warmup laps and a sprint or two on the roads around the course.
13	Sixtus™ Start Oil embrocation from Germany	Non Belgian knee warmers. You know, the fabric kind that don’t burn you if they touch your junk.
14	3M General Purpose 45 Spray Adhesive for putting on your race number	Uhh, the safety pins they give you for free when you registered?
15	Nomad™ Portable Pressure Washer	A squirt from a water bottle, a sharp stick or the hose at my house.
16	Park Tool™ Four Brush cleaning set	See line item 15 – a sharp stick.
17	NathanSport™ Power Shower Body Wipes	A wet rag, the inside of my jersey, or if I’m feeling fancy, a baby wipe.

So, I hope this article is informative and helps you decide what to bring to your next cyclocross race. Really all that's required is a bike, a helmet and a good attitude.

Thin steel, fat rubber

• I am a hard-core cyclocross elitist type. Is the Fisticuff for me?
  No.
• I am a homeless guy with pigeons in my beard and crazy eyes, is the Fisticuff for me?
  Yes.
  http://www.vassagocycles.com/fisticuff/