Thursday, August 7, 2008

Oakley MTB Shorts

You! Yes, YOU can get your hands on these revolutionary shorts from Oakley:

Not bad, you might say, but what are those funny little plastic knobs along the pocket stitching?

Those, my friend, are air vents so that when you're rippin' up the singletrack, you can "let your junk breathe easy" (according to In fact, when you read the entire description, they even use the term "sphincter-clinching", so you know it's a quality product.

If this doesn't already have you chomping at the bit to pull out your credit card, Jackson Pollock (although extremely inebriated at the time) was a guest designer for Oakley on this exclusive color option:

Personally, I'll stick with my standard black MTB shorts. I will, however, spend way too much time playing with this Jackson Pollock applet:

Photos snagged from

1 comment:

-p said...

Hmm. Take bike shorts, wrap them in fashionable nylon and then figure out a way to punch holes in that decorative coating to aerate your junk. Sounds like if someone's got a junk funk issue, they should probably just stick to some light weight lycra shorts. And splatter paint them.